I’ll immortalize you with words

What I am about to tell you is the truth, my love.

I am a gifted writer; that will remain true until I take my last breath. I do not write daily and would not tell you a tall tale about some proverbial writing routine. I write to sieve through the chaos in my head. I hear voices. Come, sit and listen. I hear voices, not in a way that requires psychiatric attention, but they are loud enough to fuel confusion. Writing helps me focus on one. Everything else fades into nothingness.

When you read this, know that you have my whole attention. I am not between if, buts or maybes; I want to spend every night looking at your face until old age erodes my vision. There is a rhythm your voice makes my heart dance to; it reminds me of the first time I felt happiness that moved me to tears. I was about seven and just learnt how to ride a bike. The possibilities were endless. Our love feels like that- it’s new every morning.

I will Immortalize you with words.

Initially, my first thought was that this was not going to last the first three months. I’m glad I was wrong. You might ask why I thought so, and I’ll tell you. In my little life, I’ve had a fair share of ephemerals, especially with romantic love. People come, and people go; either I’m too much or too little. The worst of them all is meeting people at the wrong time or when they tell you, “You’re too good for me.” So I spent a chunk of my time trying to give people reasons to stay and not giving myself enough grace to make mistakes. That’s what happens when you beg people to be in your life; you live constantly on edge, afraid that every day is the last.

With you, I’m sure.

I write this with more than words; this is an unshakable conviction. I find it hard to say how much you mean to me because I’m not articulate with my feelings without a pen. So know that when I write, I write with more than words. These words are my heart in ink. These strokes are the words I can’t say embedded on paper and your screen. I hope they play in your head on your walks, stare at the sky, and close your eyes to sleep.

You are everything I want but didn’t think I’d find.

I hope to continue being your home. A safe place you can run to regardless of good or bad times. My arms would always be a place to fall asleep. Did I tell you I’m obsessed with how your face lights up when you see me? When the time is right, I’d kiss you every night and bring you coffee in the morning. We’ll sing under the sea together, and you’d tell me what you’d like to eat so I’d make it for you. I love you, my baby girl.