You will never be her
There is a saying that goes like this “You’ve not met all the people that will love you,” and while that is true, I do not care much for their love, at least not now. The thing I search for with every waking morning and dusk is hidden within her eyes. So tell me how a love I do not know can fill the void she left? I realise now that It’s not about people loving me; I do not want to find comfort in a love I have not felt when all I want, I once held.
All the love I seek, all the love I want, all the love I need, is tucked within her, and she is the only one. They are not her. God was precise in her creation, and no one illuminates my heart the way she does. So tell me how the knowledge of people loving me would heal me.
I do not want anyone to know the corners of my heart and walk through them with their eyes closed without hitting a wall. I do not have the fortitude to let someone else learn the maze of my affection and navigate it in a way that brings me to my knees–a total surrender.
I do not want to take someone else to God in prayers saying, “Father I want you to make me what you want for her.” I do not want to lay my head on another chest if the heart within does not beat, and sing the melodies hers played when it heard my name. You see, a thousand people could love me and it would never be the same.
The mistake is you think I am searching for love, but I’m not. I want her back because she is the perfect mould to hold all the love I have to give. I’m not looking towards a love that is to come, I’m waiting for a love to return and make this house a home.
I feel sorrow for the ladies who would try to wield this heart and make it sing at their beck and call. My heart weeps for you because you’ll always pale in comparison to her. Your voice would never be as enchanting, and your hugs would never be as warm as her embrace.
Do not love me. My heart is broken, its pieces are like dust and each grain yearns for her love. Do not think you can love me enough to fade her memories.
Once in a lifetime, a boy meets a girl and the heavens open above his head, and he knows deep in his soul that his life will never remain the same if she ever walks away. But synonymous with being a boy is being foolish, so he loses her and spends the rest of his life trying to find her in everyone he meets.
He doesn’t.
I’m Seuncaleb, Omo ìfẹ́, and these words are meant to be felt. I have a new book on the way, “Things I Want to Say to You Before Eternity Comes,” you can preorder it here.
